Why Most Business Reports Are Bloody Awful (And How Sydney Professionals Can Actually Fix Theirs)

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Nobody reads your reports. There, I said it.

After seventeen years of trudging through thousands of corporate documents in Sydney boardrooms, I can tell you with absolute certainty that 83% of business reports are written by people who clearly hate both writing and their readers. The other 17%? They're actually decent, which makes them stand out like a kangaroo in Martin Place.

I've been teaching report writing skills across Sydney since 2007, and let me tell you something controversial: most people approach reports completely wrong. They think it's about showing how smart they are, cramming every possible detail into dense paragraphs that would make Tolstoy weep. Wrong.

The Real Problem With Australian Business Writing

Here's what drives me mental about report writing in this country. We've somehow convinced ourselves that longer equals better. More jargon equals more professional. More passive voice equals more authoritative.

Absolute rubbish.

I was guilty of this myself back in 2009. Spent three weeks crafting a 47-page strategic analysis for a mining company (which shall remain nameless). Beautiful charts. Comprehensive appendices. Executive summary that was longer than most people's entire reports. The CEO read exactly four sentences before tossing it aside. Four. Bloody. Sentences.

That's when it hit me - reports aren't about the writer, they're about the reader. Revolutionary concept, right?

What Actually Works in Report Writing

The best reports I've seen follow what I call the "Pub Test" approach. If you can't explain your main point to someone over a beer at the Royal Hotel, your report's probably overcomplicated.

Start with the conclusion. I know this goes against everything you learned at uni, but business people are busy. They want the bottom line first, not after wading through your methodology section.

Use active voice. Instead of "It has been determined that improvements should be implemented," try "We need to fix this." See the difference? One sounds human, the other sounds like it was written by a committee of robots.

Write like you speak. Well, maybe tone down the swearing a bit. But seriously, if you wouldn't say "utilise" in conversation, don't write it in your report. Use "use." Your readers will thank you.

Now, here's where I might lose some of you. I actually think bullet points are overused in business reports. Everyone defaults to them because they think it makes things clearer, but sometimes a well-crafted paragraph flows better than a shopping list of points.

The Sydney Advantage (Yes, It Exists)

Working in Sydney gives us a unique edge in business communication. We're direct. We cut through nonsense. We value efficiency. These are exactly the qualities that make great reports.

I've worked with companies like Westpac and Qantas on their internal communication strategies, and the best results always come when people embrace that straightforward Sydney approach rather than trying to sound like they've swallowed a management textbook.

The harbour city mentality - get to the point, make it clear, move on - that's pure gold for report writing.

Structure That Actually Makes Sense

Forget the academic essay format. Business reports need a different approach:

Executive Summary - One page max. Hit the key points hard and fast. If someone only reads this section, they should still understand your main recommendations.

Background - Keep it brief. Just enough context so people understand why they should care.

Analysis - This is where you can get into details, but make it scannable. Use clear headings. Don't bury important insights in paragraph seven of a dense section.

Recommendations - Be specific. "Improve customer service" isn't a recommendation, it's a wish. "Implement a callback system within 24 hours for all customer complaints" - now that's actionable.

Here's something that might annoy the perfectionists: I sometimes deliberately leave out obvious recommendations if they're not actionable or if everyone already knows about them. Why waste everyone's time stating the bleeding obvious?

The Technology Problem Nobody Talks About

Can we please stop pretending that PowerPoint is a report writing tool? It's not. It's a presentation tool. There's a difference.

I see too many "reports" that are actually just slide decks with way too much text crammed onto each page. PowerPoint reports are the mullet of business communication - business up front, party in the back, and nobody looks good in them.

Use Word. Use Google Docs. Hell, use a stone tablet if you have to. But stop trying to make PowerPoint do something it wasn't designed for.

The Grammar Obsession That's Killing Clarity

Here's another unpopular opinion: perfect grammar isn't always the most important thing in business writing. Obviously don't write like a text message, but sometimes breaking a grammar rule makes your writing clearer.

Starting sentences with "And" or "But"? Sometimes that's exactly what you need for flow. Ending with a preposition? If it sounds natural, go for it.

I've seen reports that are grammatically flawless and completely unreadable. I've also seen reports with the occasional dangling modifier that communicate brilliantly.

Know your audience. If you're writing for lawyers, maybe be more careful with the grammar. If you're writing for busy executives who just want to know what's happening and what to do about it? Focus on clarity over correctness.

What Sydney Businesses Get Wrong

Despite our natural advantages, Sydney businesses still make some classic mistakes:

Overcomplicating the simple stuff. If your quarterly sales are down, just say that. Don't write "revenue streams have experienced a temporary decline in comparative performance metrics."

Writing for themselves, not their audience. I can't stress this enough. Your report isn't a dissertation. It's a communication tool.

Trying to sound impressive instead of being useful. Big words don't make you sound smarter if nobody understands what you're trying to say.

The Editing Phase Most People Skip

Here's where the magic happens, and where most people completely drop the ball. After you've written your first draft, put it away for at least a day. Then come back and read it out loud.

Seriously. Out loud.

If you stumble over sentences, your readers will too. If you find yourself taking a breath in the middle of what should be one sentence, it's probably too long.

I learned this trick from a journalism mate years ago, and it's never failed me. Your ears will catch problems your eyes miss every time.

The Bottom Line

Good report writing isn't about following a template or impressing people with your vocabulary. It's about respecting your readers' time and giving them what they need to make decisions.

Most business reports fail because they're written by people who've forgotten that communication is supposed to, you know, communicate.

Keep it simple. Keep it useful. Keep it human.

And for the love of all that's holy, please stop using "leverage" as a verb.

Trust me on this one.